Rosebud's Birth Story

MY LITTLE ROSEBUD
6 February 2012
6:27am
9lb 2oz, 20.5in

BIRTH STORY

Fair warning: This birth story is LONG! I wanted to record every detail I could remember so I’d have it all years from now.

There’s a back story for this birth. I had wanted an unmedicated birth with Jeric 2 ½ years ago, but ended up with a very different experience due to the routine interventions used by the doctor and medical staff at the hospital. The interventions ended up causing more problems than they solved, and I knew I wanted something different for future births. I considered a homebirth, but my state does not license midwives other than CNMs (certified nurse-midwives) and there is no one who can legally attend a homebirth. I didn’t feel comfortable planning an unassisted birth, so I had resigned myself to the local hospital and one of the local doctors. I HATED the doctor (and based on informal surveys of other moms, he was the most likely to support my plans). He said all kinds of crazy stuff, including that my baby would most likely die if I didn’t induce within a couple of days of my due date for no reason other than being past my due date, and I simply didn’t feel comfortable with that. Luckily, after just one appointment, my sister-in-law learned of a brand-new freestanding birth center only 45 minutes from my house. It’s one of just two birth centers in the state. I was more than happy to call the doctor and request my records be transferred to the birth center. I loved the two midwives from the beginning. Disclaimer: Please know that I am not saying that my choice is the only good choice and that everyone should labor and birth like I wanted to. This is what I wanted, and since I’m very low-risk, there was no reason why I couldn’t. Every mom has to make her own decisions, and they aren’t always the same, and that’s a good thing! I knew that I would have medical back-up if it became clear that either baby or I was in need of that, and wouldn’t hesitate to use it, but I hoped that it wouldn’t become necessary. I believed that I could do it without help, and I wanted to :)

With both of my pregnancies, I have had Braxton-Hicks contractions from 20 weeks on, and in the last few weeks of my pregnancy they develop a nightly pattern of being 5-10 minutes apart and with a slight edge. This started at about 38 ½ weeks this time. At 39 weeks, I requested to be checked and was at 1 ½ cm. I wasn’t surprised by this at all, though I wished it was a bit more. I always plan for a 42-week pregnancy, though, because I have found that I handle late-pregnancy discomforts better that way.

My 40-week due date was Feb 1. I always thought it would be amusing if I had my baby on Super Bowl Sunday, because that’s a big deal in my husband’s family. (Also my family, but since my dad is now the only male left at home and both my brothers are far away, it is slightly less so.) That afternoon, I felt strange – really territorial and anti-social. Poor Husband – I was also rather moody and irritable. My brother-in-law’s family came for the game, but I spent most of my time alone downstairs. I simply couldn’t handle being around people and wanted my own space. I wondered if this odd territorial-ness meant baby was coming soon, but I didn’t speculate too much. I also had a bit of bloody show in the afternoon.

After everyone left, I stayed up until about midnight and then went to bed. At 12:30am on Monday morning, before I’d managed to fall asleep, I had a contraction that radiated around to my lower back. I thought to myself that it felt like a real labor contraction, so I looked at the clock and keep trying to go to sleep. I had another contraction exactly 8 minutes later, and one exactly 8 minutes after that. They continued that way for about an hour, then one came after 7 minutes, and the next was after 6, then 5, and they stayed 5 minutes apart until about 2:15 or 2:30, when my 2 ½ year old woke up and climbed in bed with Husband and I. He nursed for 10 or 15 minutes (Yes, I’m one of those “crazy” moms who nurses for a long time and even while pregnant; he never lost interest and I still like that part of our relationship) until he fell back asleep. While he was nursing, contractions jumped from 5 minutes apart to 3 minutes apart. They were intense enough that I didn’t want to be still, but I was able to force myself until Jeric was asleep and I could get up. I also felt an odd sensation near the top of my belly (it put me in mind of a slow-motion video of a balloon popping) and wondered if it was a high break in my bag of waters, but I didn’t feel any fluid so dismissed it.

Just after 2:30, I got up and decided I wanted to take a shower. Warm water sounded nice, plus I hadn’t shaved my legs in a week – for some reason it was very important for my legs to be shaved before going to the birth center. The contractions were still quite easy; though they’d picked up in intensity, I could still walk and talk through them with little effort. I used the bathroom before showering and lost the rest of my mucus plug at that point. I took a nice long shower, and when I got out I realized I’d been leaking fluid. I decided that either I did have a high break or contractions were putting a bit too much pressure on my bladder (haha). I wasn’t sure which, so I decided to go ahead and call the midwives and let them know what was going on. I remembered that when contractions were at this point during my labor with Jeric, I was still at only 1 ½ cm, so I expected a long labor and didn’t want to go to the birth center too quickly, so I’d been planning to wait to call until first thing in the morning. Instead, I woke Husband up and sent him looking for the phone number I needed to call. I went back to the bathroom and started drying my hair, but I had to pause frequently to get on hands and knees and breathe through contractions, which had picked up in intensity again. Husband also brought me the birth ball, and I really liked leaning over it and rocking a bit during contractions. It was about 3:30am at this point.

I called Marcia and told her I’d been having contractions for three hours and explained their pattern and that I thought my water had broken. She agreed that it probably had and asked if I wanted to go ahead and come down or wait a bit longer. I told her I didn’t want to get there way too early and be there all day, but that I really had no concept of how far into the process I was at this point, since Jeric’s birth had been so interfered with. She kept me on the phone for a couple of contractions so that she could hear how I was behaving and kind of judge how far I was based on that. I could still talk through contractions, but it was definitely an effort and I could tell my voice was strained. I just wanted to rock on my hands and knees. Marcia said I’d probably be ok to stay home a little longer if I wanted, and since I didn’t want to be at the birth center for a really long time, she told me to wait half an hour and call her back if my contractions got closer together or picked up in intensity. I agreed and we hung up. It was about 3:45.

Around this time it became clear that I worked through contractions the best in a hands-and-knees position. I couldn’t stay upright even if I wanted to – I dropped to the floor instinctually every time a contraction started. I started vocalizing around this time; I used a low-pitched “Ohhhh” sound. I also started using more visualization than before, thinking “Open” and visualizing my cervix dilating as I worked through each contraction. I made sure to keep my mouth and jaw loose and relaxed, because this helps other muscles relax and speeds dilation.

I told Husband we needed to get the last few things together to take with us (most had been in the car for a week or so). He didn’t know what we needed, and I wanted to know how close my contractions were, and how long. I had him pull up contractionmaster.com and called out start and stop while going around and getting things. We did maybe 4 or 5 contractions like that and he called me over to look – 2 to 2.5 minutes apart and 60-90 seconds each, so I was only getting 30-60 seconds break between contractions. I was surprised, so sped up my packing and called Marcia back at about 4:20. I said, “We’re coming.” She said, “We’ll be waiting for you.” And that was the extent of the conversation. I also called my mom to let her and my dad know that we were leaving for the birth center.

Husband took Jeric upstairs and put him in the bed with my in-laws. He woke up his dad to help give me a blessing before we left. He blessed me to be able to relax and trust my body and my baby and my Heavenly Father. He said I’d remember the things I’d learned about helping my body labor and that we would be safe and healthy and that the baby would come soon. He managed to time the blessing between contractions, but we had to wait through one after the blessing before we could get in the car. It was a few minutes before 5am when we pulled out of the driveway.

Since it was so early, there wasn’t much traffic on the roads, so Husband turned on the hazards and drove about 10 over the speed limit. Good thing, because my labor definitely picked up a lot in the car! It’s usually about 45-50 minutes to the birth center, but it took us just over half an hour. I sat in the middle of the backseat (we had taken Jeric’s car seat out and left it at home, and the infant car seat was in the trunk). I sat on my knees and during contractions would either hold the backs of the front seats or the handles over the back doors. (I still wanted hands and knees but the backseat wasn’t wide enough, so I had to make do.) I told Husband that it helped me stay focused if he talked to me. He asked what I wanted to talk about, and I said, “I don’t care! Just talk!” So he did :) He talked about how awesome I was, how great I was doing. He talked about Jeric and the new baby and how sweet they are and how much we love them. I don’t remember much of what he said, just those themes. I still wasn’t in pain, and the intensity had picked up but was easily managed by deep breathing and vocalizing along with thinking “open” and visualizing. I remember that sometimes Husband did those things along with me, especially as we got closer to the birth center.

Just before we got off the highway, maybe 5 minutes before arriving at the birth center, I had a contraction with a double peak. It was really intense, but not painful. I remember thinking, “Oh. That’s why women want epidurals, to get a break from the intensity.” A moment later I had another double peak, and I think I said out loud that I wasn’t sure I could do it. Then I reprimanded myself for thinking irrationally, because being irrational was a sign of transition and there was no way I was anywhere close to transition. I’d only been in labor about 5 hours!

We arrived at the birth center a moment later (about 5:30am) and said hi to the midwives. That conversation went something like this:

Marcia: How are you doing?

Me: I've been better, how are you?

Marcia: I'm just fine! Do you want to go to the bathroom before we get you settled?

I went to the bathroom and had two intense contractions and more fluid and more bloody show. I went back into the birth room (one of two – I chose the blue room) where they had the pool set up and in the process of being filled. I got on the bed so she could check me and get a baseline. She looked surprised and said “Eight centimeters.” I was sure I’d heard her wrong, I thought I’d be at a 3 or maybe a 4, tops. I asked her to repeat herself, and when I realized I’d heard her correctly, I asked if she was sure. She said she was. I was completely shocked and surprised and so happy to hear it!

I got in the pool. The water was only about a foot deep because they hadn’t had much time to fill it before I arrived, but they keep filling it right up until the moment baby was born. I loved the warm water! It helped me stay relaxed and focused. The room was dimly lit and quiet and they had some lavender fragrance going. The midwives left us alone and said they’d be right there if we needed anything. I adopted my favorite hands-and-knees position and labored that way for quite a while. Husband rubbed my lower back, where I had started feeling a lot of pressure from the baby moving down. I got hot after a while so asked for some cold water, which I sipped the rest of the time. Marcia or Nicole came in a couple of times to listen to baby’s heart with the Doppler. She was always strong and steady and sounding good! I started saying things like “I can’t. I don’t want to.” Husband was always there to reassure me that I was doing fine, and I believed him. I’d also occasionally hear either Marcia or Nicole quietly say something encouraging from the door way. The comments from everyone helped me maintain my focus and keep working through and with the contractions. I still wasn’t in any pain! Just working hard.

Soon I felt a lot of pressure down low and I think I grunted a bit with a couple of contractions. Marcia was there and she said, “You can push if you want to, you know.” I was like, oh yeah! I forgot about pushing! So I tried to listen to my body’s signals and pushed with them, once or twice each contraction. At one point I said, “I don’t know how!” I heard Marcia say, “Yes, you do; you’re doing it!” Husband continued with counterpressure on my lower back and encouraging words. It was kind of funny because throughout my labor, especially at the end, I kept saying irrational things out loud – and I knew I was being irrational and kept telling myself to just stop it, I was doing fine and almost done. But I really couldn’t stop myself from saying those crazy, irrational things out loud. So I was externally irrational and internally rational – very odd.

I felt her start to crown. I said, “OUT, baby, come OUT!” Crowning stung a bit but not too much. Mostly it was just a lot of pressure, not pain. I felt like surely her head should be out by now. Nicole said, “Reach down and feel your baby’s head!” That was really cool, and I was the first person to touch my baby. I was a bit disappointed that she wasn’t further out, but it encouraged me to keep pushing as my body directed. Nicole came up behind me and reminded me to keep my bottom low, because her head was almost out and needed to stay below the surface of the water until she was completely out. If her head came out, I'd have to be out of the water for the rest of the birth. The water was maybe 15 inches deep at this point, so much more shallow that usual for a waterbirth!

The next time I pushed the pressure increased a LOT and I said, “No, baby, go BACK IN! I’m done, go back in!” I heard a chuckle or two and Husband said, “It’ a bit late for that.” Marcia said, “Her head is out. Keep your bottom down.” The contraction ended and I breathed deeply while I waited for the last one to come. There was a lot of pressure as she rotated and then slid out on the next contraction. I love that sense of relief when the body slides out, it’s so cool! Husband caught her as she was born and brought her up out of the water (either Marcia or Nicole was right behind him just in case he needed help). I turned over (I’d been on hands and knees the whole time) and he handed her to me. I held her to my chest and leaned back against the side of the tub. It was 6:27am. I had been pushing for 7 minutes. (I thought it had been more like 20 minutes, so was again surprised by how fast things went.)

Nicole had a warm towel ready and covered us up. I was surprised by how floppy the baby was, but Nicole and Marcia assured us that she was fine (her 1-minute APGAR was only a 7 because she was a bit floppy and pale, but she got a 9 at 5 minutes because only her hands were still pale. She perked right up and looked at me. She was mostly calm and alert but fussed a bit, so I sang “I Am a Child of God” to help her relax. Husband took some pictures of the two of us in that first minute or two, and I LOVE those pictures!  Nicole brought more warm towels when ours got too wet. After a few minutes, I started feeling more contractions and sometimes had to move my hips to stay comfortable. When baby was about 15 or 20 minutes old, I pushed out the placenta and Marcia put it into a bowl to be examined later. Then she clamped the cord and Husband cut it. (He says that it was gross and he doesn’t want to do it again, but he really wants to catch another baby in the future! I told him he is welcome to catch again, unless I do it myself!) Once the placenta was out and the cord was cut, they all helped me stand and climb out of the pool and onto the bed, still holding the baby.

One thing that I loved about the birth center is that the baby never left my side, and no one touched her but me and Husband, except when covering us up and helping me out of the pool. (Of course they were right there as she was being born in case they were needed, but we were blessed to be able to do it all ourselves.) Marcia checked me and said that I didn’t tear other than a “paper cut” that didn’t need stitches, which was right on the scar tissue from the episiotomy at Jeric’s birth (I am SO MAD about that episiotomy). The assistant took some pictures of the three of us at this point.

We cuddled on the bed for a while and called to let our parents know that baby had arrived. They were all shocked that she’d come so soon, after just 6 hours of labor and 1 hour at the birth center. Baby nursed for the first time and did really well without any help. We did that for a little more than an hour. The midwives left us alone for most of that time. I ate one or two of the granola bars we brought as labor snacks but I didn’t have time to eat. I was HUNGRY! After that, I decided I wanted to know how big baby was (she still didn’t have a name at this point). The first thought I’d had when she was born was that she was so little, but I had distinctly heard Nicole say “Oh, she’s big!” from the doorway. Husband went and found the midwives, and they brought the infant scale in and put it on my bed. He took her and placed her on the scale. They waited a few moments for the reading. My whole pregnancy I’d expected her to be around 8 or 8 ½ pounds, but seeing how small she looked I kind of wondered if she’d even be that big. Well, I was dead wrong! Nine pounds, two ounces, they said. WHAT?! No way. It was another big surprise for this labor. They even weighed her twice, then measured her. She was 20 ½ inches long. Husband picked her up and held her while Marcia helped me to the bathroom to clean off. We went back to the room and she said that baby and I were both healthy enough to leave whenever we wanted; we just needed to fill out and sign the paperwork first. It was about 8:30am.

They brought the paperwork for the birth certificate, so it was time for us to decide on a name. I'll be calling her "Rosebud" on my blog. We decided we wanted to stay for a few more hours and rest, so Husband called his parents to get Jeric up and bring him down to meet his baby sister. Husband asked if I was hungry and I said YES. I wanted a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit and some orange juice, so he went to Bojangles to get us some breakfast.

Soon Jeric arrived with his grandparents. Husband met them in the waiting room and brought Jeric back first for a moment. He was a little confused about what was going on, but did really well. We put him up on the bed next to me and baby, and he wanted to hold her. I put her on his lap and told Husband to take a picture. She started crying about that time, so Jeric’s expression in the picture is pretty funny – he didn’t quite know what to think about this small, pink, loud thing. He cried a little because he was worried about her, but he calmed down quickly and was pretty excited. Then Husband’s parents came in to meet her. She was very awake and alert, but did get mad at one point because she wanted to nurse some more.

I decided at about 10 or 10:30 that I was ready to go home now, so we packed everything up and said goodbye to the midwives and office staff (who had arrived in the hours since baby was born; she was born before office hours so they didn’t end up needing to cancel any appointments). It was fun to see them all and show off my beautiful baby girl! I felt so awesome. We drove home with both of our babies and met my mom and sister at our house (my dad came a couple of hours later after he finished up some stuff at work). We were home by noon, when Rosebud was just 5 ½ hours old, less than 12 hours after the first real labor contraction. It was a big party for the rest of the day.

I could not believe how good I felt after this birth. It was faster and easier than I could have imagined. It wasn’t painful, just intense. I felt so prepared and so ready to get it done, and I did it! I felt so strong, so empowered. I felt like a rock star and like I could do just about anything. That doesn’t mean that I didn’t feel tired and that I didn’t have to recover from it. Of course I did! Labor is hard work, and I was pretty tired. But the recovery from this birth was much quicker than the recovery when Jeric was born. I am so grateful that everything went the way I wanted it to and that medical help wasn’t needed. I cannot describe the awesomeness of my baby girl’s birth! I felt so good and just very, very happy.