January 2012

These pictures are from January 2012, prior to baby Rosebud's birth. The plan is to go through month-by-month and give highlights, since I haven't posted in so long. (I'm setting a goal to post once a month. Here's to hoping I'll stick to it! I'm even putting it on my housekeeping charts, so maybe that will help.)

Biker. 

He found my fluffy socks and put them on all by himself. 

37 weeks - compare to here (37 weeks with Jeric) 

Hat? Papa brought home some lunch from Hardee's one day. 

Yogurt mess. 

Practice for reading to his sister. 

Went to Wal-Mart with grandparents so Mommy could have a rest. 

Cutest Wolverine I've ever seen. 

Helping Papaw (Husband's grandfather) with the cows. 

"Helping" Daddy with homework.

Rosebud's Birth Story

MY LITTLE ROSEBUD
6 February 2012
6:27am
9lb 2oz, 20.5in

BIRTH STORY

Fair warning: This birth story is LONG! I wanted to record every detail I could remember so I’d have it all years from now.

There’s a back story for this birth. I had wanted an unmedicated birth with Jeric 2 ½ years ago, but ended up with a very different experience due to the routine interventions used by the doctor and medical staff at the hospital. The interventions ended up causing more problems than they solved, and I knew I wanted something different for future births. I considered a homebirth, but my state does not license midwives other than CNMs (certified nurse-midwives) and there is no one who can legally attend a homebirth. I didn’t feel comfortable planning an unassisted birth, so I had resigned myself to the local hospital and one of the local doctors. I HATED the doctor (and based on informal surveys of other moms, he was the most likely to support my plans). He said all kinds of crazy stuff, including that my baby would most likely die if I didn’t induce within a couple of days of my due date for no reason other than being past my due date, and I simply didn’t feel comfortable with that. Luckily, after just one appointment, my sister-in-law learned of a brand-new freestanding birth center only 45 minutes from my house. It’s one of just two birth centers in the state. I was more than happy to call the doctor and request my records be transferred to the birth center. I loved the two midwives from the beginning. Disclaimer: Please know that I am not saying that my choice is the only good choice and that everyone should labor and birth like I wanted to. This is what I wanted, and since I’m very low-risk, there was no reason why I couldn’t. Every mom has to make her own decisions, and they aren’t always the same, and that’s a good thing! I knew that I would have medical back-up if it became clear that either baby or I was in need of that, and wouldn’t hesitate to use it, but I hoped that it wouldn’t become necessary. I believed that I could do it without help, and I wanted to :)

With both of my pregnancies, I have had Braxton-Hicks contractions from 20 weeks on, and in the last few weeks of my pregnancy they develop a nightly pattern of being 5-10 minutes apart and with a slight edge. This started at about 38 ½ weeks this time. At 39 weeks, I requested to be checked and was at 1 ½ cm. I wasn’t surprised by this at all, though I wished it was a bit more. I always plan for a 42-week pregnancy, though, because I have found that I handle late-pregnancy discomforts better that way.

My 40-week due date was Feb 1. I always thought it would be amusing if I had my baby on Super Bowl Sunday, because that’s a big deal in my husband’s family. (Also my family, but since my dad is now the only male left at home and both my brothers are far away, it is slightly less so.) That afternoon, I felt strange – really territorial and anti-social. Poor Husband – I was also rather moody and irritable. My brother-in-law’s family came for the game, but I spent most of my time alone downstairs. I simply couldn’t handle being around people and wanted my own space. I wondered if this odd territorial-ness meant baby was coming soon, but I didn’t speculate too much. I also had a bit of bloody show in the afternoon.

After everyone left, I stayed up until about midnight and then went to bed. At 12:30am on Monday morning, before I’d managed to fall asleep, I had a contraction that radiated around to my lower back. I thought to myself that it felt like a real labor contraction, so I looked at the clock and keep trying to go to sleep. I had another contraction exactly 8 minutes later, and one exactly 8 minutes after that. They continued that way for about an hour, then one came after 7 minutes, and the next was after 6, then 5, and they stayed 5 minutes apart until about 2:15 or 2:30, when my 2 ½ year old woke up and climbed in bed with Husband and I. He nursed for 10 or 15 minutes (Yes, I’m one of those “crazy” moms who nurses for a long time and even while pregnant; he never lost interest and I still like that part of our relationship) until he fell back asleep. While he was nursing, contractions jumped from 5 minutes apart to 3 minutes apart. They were intense enough that I didn’t want to be still, but I was able to force myself until Jeric was asleep and I could get up. I also felt an odd sensation near the top of my belly (it put me in mind of a slow-motion video of a balloon popping) and wondered if it was a high break in my bag of waters, but I didn’t feel any fluid so dismissed it.

Just after 2:30, I got up and decided I wanted to take a shower. Warm water sounded nice, plus I hadn’t shaved my legs in a week – for some reason it was very important for my legs to be shaved before going to the birth center. The contractions were still quite easy; though they’d picked up in intensity, I could still walk and talk through them with little effort. I used the bathroom before showering and lost the rest of my mucus plug at that point. I took a nice long shower, and when I got out I realized I’d been leaking fluid. I decided that either I did have a high break or contractions were putting a bit too much pressure on my bladder (haha). I wasn’t sure which, so I decided to go ahead and call the midwives and let them know what was going on. I remembered that when contractions were at this point during my labor with Jeric, I was still at only 1 ½ cm, so I expected a long labor and didn’t want to go to the birth center too quickly, so I’d been planning to wait to call until first thing in the morning. Instead, I woke Husband up and sent him looking for the phone number I needed to call. I went back to the bathroom and started drying my hair, but I had to pause frequently to get on hands and knees and breathe through contractions, which had picked up in intensity again. Husband also brought me the birth ball, and I really liked leaning over it and rocking a bit during contractions. It was about 3:30am at this point.

I called Marcia and told her I’d been having contractions for three hours and explained their pattern and that I thought my water had broken. She agreed that it probably had and asked if I wanted to go ahead and come down or wait a bit longer. I told her I didn’t want to get there way too early and be there all day, but that I really had no concept of how far into the process I was at this point, since Jeric’s birth had been so interfered with. She kept me on the phone for a couple of contractions so that she could hear how I was behaving and kind of judge how far I was based on that. I could still talk through contractions, but it was definitely an effort and I could tell my voice was strained. I just wanted to rock on my hands and knees. Marcia said I’d probably be ok to stay home a little longer if I wanted, and since I didn’t want to be at the birth center for a really long time, she told me to wait half an hour and call her back if my contractions got closer together or picked up in intensity. I agreed and we hung up. It was about 3:45.

Around this time it became clear that I worked through contractions the best in a hands-and-knees position. I couldn’t stay upright even if I wanted to – I dropped to the floor instinctually every time a contraction started. I started vocalizing around this time; I used a low-pitched “Ohhhh” sound. I also started using more visualization than before, thinking “Open” and visualizing my cervix dilating as I worked through each contraction. I made sure to keep my mouth and jaw loose and relaxed, because this helps other muscles relax and speeds dilation.

I told Husband we needed to get the last few things together to take with us (most had been in the car for a week or so). He didn’t know what we needed, and I wanted to know how close my contractions were, and how long. I had him pull up contractionmaster.com and called out start and stop while going around and getting things. We did maybe 4 or 5 contractions like that and he called me over to look – 2 to 2.5 minutes apart and 60-90 seconds each, so I was only getting 30-60 seconds break between contractions. I was surprised, so sped up my packing and called Marcia back at about 4:20. I said, “We’re coming.” She said, “We’ll be waiting for you.” And that was the extent of the conversation. I also called my mom to let her and my dad know that we were leaving for the birth center.

Husband took Jeric upstairs and put him in the bed with my in-laws. He woke up his dad to help give me a blessing before we left. He blessed me to be able to relax and trust my body and my baby and my Heavenly Father. He said I’d remember the things I’d learned about helping my body labor and that we would be safe and healthy and that the baby would come soon. He managed to time the blessing between contractions, but we had to wait through one after the blessing before we could get in the car. It was a few minutes before 5am when we pulled out of the driveway.

Since it was so early, there wasn’t much traffic on the roads, so Husband turned on the hazards and drove about 10 over the speed limit. Good thing, because my labor definitely picked up a lot in the car! It’s usually about 45-50 minutes to the birth center, but it took us just over half an hour. I sat in the middle of the backseat (we had taken Jeric’s car seat out and left it at home, and the infant car seat was in the trunk). I sat on my knees and during contractions would either hold the backs of the front seats or the handles over the back doors. (I still wanted hands and knees but the backseat wasn’t wide enough, so I had to make do.) I told Husband that it helped me stay focused if he talked to me. He asked what I wanted to talk about, and I said, “I don’t care! Just talk!” So he did :) He talked about how awesome I was, how great I was doing. He talked about Jeric and the new baby and how sweet they are and how much we love them. I don’t remember much of what he said, just those themes. I still wasn’t in pain, and the intensity had picked up but was easily managed by deep breathing and vocalizing along with thinking “open” and visualizing. I remember that sometimes Husband did those things along with me, especially as we got closer to the birth center.

Just before we got off the highway, maybe 5 minutes before arriving at the birth center, I had a contraction with a double peak. It was really intense, but not painful. I remember thinking, “Oh. That’s why women want epidurals, to get a break from the intensity.” A moment later I had another double peak, and I think I said out loud that I wasn’t sure I could do it. Then I reprimanded myself for thinking irrationally, because being irrational was a sign of transition and there was no way I was anywhere close to transition. I’d only been in labor about 5 hours!

We arrived at the birth center a moment later (about 5:30am) and said hi to the midwives. That conversation went something like this:

Marcia: How are you doing?

Me: I've been better, how are you?

Marcia: I'm just fine! Do you want to go to the bathroom before we get you settled?

I went to the bathroom and had two intense contractions and more fluid and more bloody show. I went back into the birth room (one of two – I chose the blue room) where they had the pool set up and in the process of being filled. I got on the bed so she could check me and get a baseline. She looked surprised and said “Eight centimeters.” I was sure I’d heard her wrong, I thought I’d be at a 3 or maybe a 4, tops. I asked her to repeat herself, and when I realized I’d heard her correctly, I asked if she was sure. She said she was. I was completely shocked and surprised and so happy to hear it!

I got in the pool. The water was only about a foot deep because they hadn’t had much time to fill it before I arrived, but they keep filling it right up until the moment baby was born. I loved the warm water! It helped me stay relaxed and focused. The room was dimly lit and quiet and they had some lavender fragrance going. The midwives left us alone and said they’d be right there if we needed anything. I adopted my favorite hands-and-knees position and labored that way for quite a while. Husband rubbed my lower back, where I had started feeling a lot of pressure from the baby moving down. I got hot after a while so asked for some cold water, which I sipped the rest of the time. Marcia or Nicole came in a couple of times to listen to baby’s heart with the Doppler. She was always strong and steady and sounding good! I started saying things like “I can’t. I don’t want to.” Husband was always there to reassure me that I was doing fine, and I believed him. I’d also occasionally hear either Marcia or Nicole quietly say something encouraging from the door way. The comments from everyone helped me maintain my focus and keep working through and with the contractions. I still wasn’t in any pain! Just working hard.

Soon I felt a lot of pressure down low and I think I grunted a bit with a couple of contractions. Marcia was there and she said, “You can push if you want to, you know.” I was like, oh yeah! I forgot about pushing! So I tried to listen to my body’s signals and pushed with them, once or twice each contraction. At one point I said, “I don’t know how!” I heard Marcia say, “Yes, you do; you’re doing it!” Husband continued with counterpressure on my lower back and encouraging words. It was kind of funny because throughout my labor, especially at the end, I kept saying irrational things out loud – and I knew I was being irrational and kept telling myself to just stop it, I was doing fine and almost done. But I really couldn’t stop myself from saying those crazy, irrational things out loud. So I was externally irrational and internally rational – very odd.

I felt her start to crown. I said, “OUT, baby, come OUT!” Crowning stung a bit but not too much. Mostly it was just a lot of pressure, not pain. I felt like surely her head should be out by now. Nicole said, “Reach down and feel your baby’s head!” That was really cool, and I was the first person to touch my baby. I was a bit disappointed that she wasn’t further out, but it encouraged me to keep pushing as my body directed. Nicole came up behind me and reminded me to keep my bottom low, because her head was almost out and needed to stay below the surface of the water until she was completely out. If her head came out, I'd have to be out of the water for the rest of the birth. The water was maybe 15 inches deep at this point, so much more shallow that usual for a waterbirth!

The next time I pushed the pressure increased a LOT and I said, “No, baby, go BACK IN! I’m done, go back in!” I heard a chuckle or two and Husband said, “It’ a bit late for that.” Marcia said, “Her head is out. Keep your bottom down.” The contraction ended and I breathed deeply while I waited for the last one to come. There was a lot of pressure as she rotated and then slid out on the next contraction. I love that sense of relief when the body slides out, it’s so cool! Husband caught her as she was born and brought her up out of the water (either Marcia or Nicole was right behind him just in case he needed help). I turned over (I’d been on hands and knees the whole time) and he handed her to me. I held her to my chest and leaned back against the side of the tub. It was 6:27am. I had been pushing for 7 minutes. (I thought it had been more like 20 minutes, so was again surprised by how fast things went.)

Nicole had a warm towel ready and covered us up. I was surprised by how floppy the baby was, but Nicole and Marcia assured us that she was fine (her 1-minute APGAR was only a 7 because she was a bit floppy and pale, but she got a 9 at 5 minutes because only her hands were still pale. She perked right up and looked at me. She was mostly calm and alert but fussed a bit, so I sang “I Am a Child of God” to help her relax. Husband took some pictures of the two of us in that first minute or two, and I LOVE those pictures!  Nicole brought more warm towels when ours got too wet. After a few minutes, I started feeling more contractions and sometimes had to move my hips to stay comfortable. When baby was about 15 or 20 minutes old, I pushed out the placenta and Marcia put it into a bowl to be examined later. Then she clamped the cord and Husband cut it. (He says that it was gross and he doesn’t want to do it again, but he really wants to catch another baby in the future! I told him he is welcome to catch again, unless I do it myself!) Once the placenta was out and the cord was cut, they all helped me stand and climb out of the pool and onto the bed, still holding the baby.

One thing that I loved about the birth center is that the baby never left my side, and no one touched her but me and Husband, except when covering us up and helping me out of the pool. (Of course they were right there as she was being born in case they were needed, but we were blessed to be able to do it all ourselves.) Marcia checked me and said that I didn’t tear other than a “paper cut” that didn’t need stitches, which was right on the scar tissue from the episiotomy at Jeric’s birth (I am SO MAD about that episiotomy). The assistant took some pictures of the three of us at this point.

We cuddled on the bed for a while and called to let our parents know that baby had arrived. They were all shocked that she’d come so soon, after just 6 hours of labor and 1 hour at the birth center. Baby nursed for the first time and did really well without any help. We did that for a little more than an hour. The midwives left us alone for most of that time. I ate one or two of the granola bars we brought as labor snacks but I didn’t have time to eat. I was HUNGRY! After that, I decided I wanted to know how big baby was (she still didn’t have a name at this point). The first thought I’d had when she was born was that she was so little, but I had distinctly heard Nicole say “Oh, she’s big!” from the doorway. Husband went and found the midwives, and they brought the infant scale in and put it on my bed. He took her and placed her on the scale. They waited a few moments for the reading. My whole pregnancy I’d expected her to be around 8 or 8 ½ pounds, but seeing how small she looked I kind of wondered if she’d even be that big. Well, I was dead wrong! Nine pounds, two ounces, they said. WHAT?! No way. It was another big surprise for this labor. They even weighed her twice, then measured her. She was 20 ½ inches long. Husband picked her up and held her while Marcia helped me to the bathroom to clean off. We went back to the room and she said that baby and I were both healthy enough to leave whenever we wanted; we just needed to fill out and sign the paperwork first. It was about 8:30am.

They brought the paperwork for the birth certificate, so it was time for us to decide on a name. I'll be calling her "Rosebud" on my blog. We decided we wanted to stay for a few more hours and rest, so Husband called his parents to get Jeric up and bring him down to meet his baby sister. Husband asked if I was hungry and I said YES. I wanted a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit and some orange juice, so he went to Bojangles to get us some breakfast.

Soon Jeric arrived with his grandparents. Husband met them in the waiting room and brought Jeric back first for a moment. He was a little confused about what was going on, but did really well. We put him up on the bed next to me and baby, and he wanted to hold her. I put her on his lap and told Husband to take a picture. She started crying about that time, so Jeric’s expression in the picture is pretty funny – he didn’t quite know what to think about this small, pink, loud thing. He cried a little because he was worried about her, but he calmed down quickly and was pretty excited. Then Husband’s parents came in to meet her. She was very awake and alert, but did get mad at one point because she wanted to nurse some more.

I decided at about 10 or 10:30 that I was ready to go home now, so we packed everything up and said goodbye to the midwives and office staff (who had arrived in the hours since baby was born; she was born before office hours so they didn’t end up needing to cancel any appointments). It was fun to see them all and show off my beautiful baby girl! I felt so awesome. We drove home with both of our babies and met my mom and sister at our house (my dad came a couple of hours later after he finished up some stuff at work). We were home by noon, when Rosebud was just 5 ½ hours old, less than 12 hours after the first real labor contraction. It was a big party for the rest of the day.

I could not believe how good I felt after this birth. It was faster and easier than I could have imagined. It wasn’t painful, just intense. I felt so prepared and so ready to get it done, and I did it! I felt so strong, so empowered. I felt like a rock star and like I could do just about anything. That doesn’t mean that I didn’t feel tired and that I didn’t have to recover from it. Of course I did! Labor is hard work, and I was pretty tired. But the recovery from this birth was much quicker than the recovery when Jeric was born. I am so grateful that everything went the way I wanted it to and that medical help wasn’t needed. I cannot describe the awesomeness of my baby girl’s birth! I felt so good and just very, very happy.

Rosebud

As most of you have probably already seen on Facebook, baby Rosebud made her grand entrance into the world this morning, February 6, at 6:27am. She weighed 9lb. 2oz. and was 20.5 inches long.

Y'all, this was probably the coolest thing I've ever done (and yes, I've done it before, but the two experiences absolutely couldn't have been more different, and I prefer this one).

Belly shot from my due date (Feb 1) (can't figure out how to turn it, sorry):

With my sister-in-law. I was 40+3, she was 39+3.

My token appearance at the Superbowl festivities:

BABY!

Pregnancy update

I am currently 33 weeks and 4 days into this pregnancy (if you want to be exact). I had an appointment on Friday and everything still looks great. Baby girl is positioned exactly how I thought she was: head-down and slightly posterior with her feet curled up on my right side.

I've been getting mixed reviews from people as to my size. When some people hear that it's still about a month and a half to my guess date (Feb 1), they give me this look like oh-I-thought-you-were-almost-done-because-you're-huge. Other people seem surprised for the opposite reason and think I'm too small to be that far along. (I think I prefer the second reaction, although I tend to agree with people who have the first reaction.) It's definitely true that I'm bigger than I was at this point with Jeric! I think this is for a number of reasons: (1) second baby, looser muscles; (2) she sits higher up than he did; (3) I have an anterior placenta (on the front of the uterus) as opposed to the posterior placenta I had last time; (4) I think she's going to be a bit bigger than Jeric was.

I'm still feeling pretty good. I am more uncomfortable than I was with Jeric (see reason 2 above: she sits higher up and is therefore in my ribs more), but not too bad. I have some heartburn and occasional sciatic pain, but nothing too intense. Yay for papaya enzyme to take care of the heartburn! Mostly I'm just enjoying feeling this child move around!

Jeric is very interested in baby sister. He likes to hug and kiss my belly, then he'll say "love you!" and go play some more. He wants to hold her, but I tell him she's too little to come out yet. We talk about all the fun things we're going to do with baby sister when she is born. I don't think he really understands that he's going to have to share Mommy and Daddy, and I'm fully expecting some jealousy and an adjustment period, but I think he'll do pretty well. He will be about 29 months when she is born.

And for those of you who stuck it out, here is a picture of me and my sister-in-law, who is due a week after I am. (She is also having a girl!) This picture was taken last Sunday.

Girl.

So, probably no one ever reads this thing anymore. If you read this post, will you please comment? That would be great.

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For those who didn't know, we're having another baby! It's a girl this time and I am SO excited. Husband is a bit nervous because he doesn't have a lot of experience with girls, but he'll be fine and I'm sure she'll have him wrapped around her little finger in no time.

I'm lazy so I haven't scanned ultrasound pictures onto my computer, so I don't have any of those. But I have a couple of belly pictures. I did those with Jeric, so I feel like I ought to do them with this one too. For comparison, here is the 20-week picture and the 22-week picture from when I was pregnant with Jeric.

My due date is officially February 1, so I'm 22 weeks and 2 days today. I'm expecting her to come sometime the first half or so of February.

20 weeks with baby girl (Sept 14)

22 weeks with baby girl (Sept 28)

The white shirt in the last picture is officially a maternity shirt, so I think I might take all future belly pictures while wearing the same shirt. But I reserve the right to change my mind.

I feel like I showed a LOT faster this pregnancy, and I think I'm a lot bigger than I was with Jeric at this point, but I don't feel like the pictures really show that. I was less sick this time around, too, which was nice, especially since I really wasn't all that sick with Jeric! I do feel like I've been more emotional, and I've gained weight more quickly (though I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I didn't lose weight the first trimester like I did with Jeric). I really have been blessed with easy pregnancies so far, and I'm very grateful. Baby girl has been moving around a lot lately (I don't feel her as easily as I did with Jeric because I have an anterior placenta) and she's already almost up to my ribs!

Jeric loves giving hugs and kisses to baby sister, and sometimes he sings to her, too. He sometimes asks to hold her, but I just tell him she's too little and has to grow big big big in mommy's tummy before she can come out and he can hold her. He'll be 2 years and 5 months old when she is born.

Stalling, Or, the One in which I finally tell you the birth story because my baby is almost 2 months old

**Edited: This is the really rosy, watered-down version of my son's birth. I have come to understand that much of the "trauma" (and I was traumatized, as was my sweet boy) was the direct result of policies and procedures and acts of the medical personnel associated with the birth. It took me quite a time to do my research and understand what happened. I believe I have processed it all and mostly healed from it, but there is still so much that makes me very, very angry. I believe we would have been better off if we'd been left alone from the start. I wish a birth class like Birth Boot Camp (or similar) was available at the time, and that I'd've known about it. I wish that I had been given more accurate information by my "care" providers and that I had known I could take more responsibility for my own baby's birth. Someday I will write out what happened through the lens of what I know now, but I am not there yet. I'm just not there yet.**

Fair warning: This is a really, really, really long post.

I admit it, I'm using this blog as an excuse to stall right now. I've been working on a paper for my humanities class for the last few hours and haven't really gotten anywhere, and I need a break. I'll write a bit here and then a paragraph there. Thankfully the baby has been asleep since about 8:30...it's about 12:30 as I start this, so four hours and counting! (I actually woke him up about 9 so we could go pick up Husband, and he went back to sleep in the car seat...he's still there because he's happy.) I need him to stay that way for a while longer, which he might. The other night he slept 6 hours straight. (Edited to add that he woke up about 2:00 to eat. I had one paragraph of the paper left and had just gotten to the point in the birth story where I was officially admitted to the hospital.)

No cute pictures today, sorry.

Jeric is already 8 weeks old. He'll officially be 2 months on Monday. I can't believe how quickly the time has gone. He had a doctor visit the other day. Apparently, my baby is a CHUNK!

Birth stats: 7 lb. 13 oz., 21 in.

2-week stats: 8 lb. 7 oz. (~50th percentile), 21.5 in. (~75th percentile), 36 cm head circumference (between 25th and 50th percentile)

2-month stats: 13 lb. 0 oz. (almost 90th percentile), 22.75 in. (just about 50th percentile), 39.5 cm head circumference (50th percentile)

Yeah, he really fattened up...more than four and a half pounds in 6 weeks! Husband refers to Jeric as "fatty" -- as in "Where's my fatty?" and "Come here, you fatty."

In other news, I started packing today. Kristina and Rachel from the singles' ward came over for a couple of hours to help. That way I didn't have to worry about packing AND about Jeric at the same time. They played with him while I packed and packed while I took care of him. We made a good start.

And here is the long-awaited (yeah, right) birth story. Hopefully I can remember details since I didn't do this sooner...If you don't want to hear all about my cervix, go ahead and skip the rest of this post :) It will probably be pretty long, since I tend to be rather wordy at times (my husband would say all the time).

I had an OB appointment on my due date, Tuesday 1 September. I'd been contracting for a couple of weeks, sometimes a bit painfully and regularly, but I knew it wasn't actual labor. I was feeling good and like I could go on being pregnant for a while longer (though of course I was anxious to meet the baby), which was a good thing because I was feeling like it would be at least the weekend before he was born. I still think that would have been true if not for the doctor...

So anyways, my appointment. I had been sitting at about 1 cm and 70% effaced since 38 weeks, even with all the contractions I had going on. My cervix still hadn't changed by my 40 week appointment. But the doctor (one I hadn't seen before) decided to take things into his own hands and stripped my membranes without telling me he was going to beforehand. As far as I knew he was just going to check me and be done with it but then I felt pain and he's all, "And now I'm stripping your membranes..." and I'm all, "Yeah, I noticed!" I must say that I wasn't too particularly pleased with him. Good thing I knew what that meant or I'd have been really freaked out. And, I'm pretty sure that's what made me go into labor, and I also blame him for the fact that my labor lasted about 25 hours. I don't think my body was quite ready, but I think I would have gone in the next couple of days. Ugh.

That afternoon I ran a bunch of errands (including purchasing a nursing bra...I cut it kind of close, I know!) and made dinner. A new movie arrived from Netflix that evening (Hercules...that movie rocks!) so Husband and I decided to watch it before bed. About halfway through the movie (about 10 pm) I noticed that the intermittent contractions I'd been having forever were getting regular. This wasn't unusual. Occasionally they'd get to where they were pretty steady and five minutes apart, but they never gained enough intensity or got close enough together for me to think I was going into labor. I thought that's what was happening this time (and I was kind of right, since "labor" means that the contractions are actually making the cervix dilate, and this wasn't exactly the case with me). I paid it no mind and enjoyed the movie.

Husband went to sleep right after the movie got over, but I wasn't tired enough to sleep right then. I tried for a while and then decided to get up and do something for a bit before trying again. Normally when I changed activities, the contractions would stop being so regular. This time they didn't. I went back to bed around 1 and tried to sleep but couldn't, so I thought I'd try timing my contractions. They were about 3-4 minutes apart and lasting about a minute each. I also thought they were getting worse.

By this time it was about 2:30. I decided to get up and take a shower just in case we ended up going to the hospital, because then who knew when my next shower would be. Besides, the contractions had gotten to the point where I couldn't have slept through them even if I had managed to fall asleep. I also did a few dishes and straightened up the house a bit before going back to bed around 3:30. I time the contractions again and they were still about 3 mintues apart but more intense than they had been. I woke Husband up to tell him that I might need to go to the hospital in a few hours. I asked him how he felt about the possibility of missing work that day (he was thrilled).

I became too uncomfortable to lie down, so I went and sat in my glider with a book and tried to ignore the contractions. It worked, kind of. For a while. Husband came in about 4:30 and sat with me. By then, the contractions were only about 2 minutes apart and lasting a minute or more, so I was only getting a few seconds of a break between them. At 5:30 we called one of our home teachers to come help Husband give me a priesthood blessing before we headed to the hospital. We arrived around 6 am and got all checked in.

When the nurse checked me, I was dilated to 1.5 cm. I was so disappointed, I thought surely I was further than that. (Pretty sure it's because the doctor stripped my membranes... It made the contractions intense but didn't do much dilation). The hospital's policy is that if you haven't changed in one hour you go home. Well, an hour came and went and OF COURSE I was still at 1.5 cm, though the contractions were still getting more and more intense.

So I got sent home. They gave me a shot of morphine and something else in my hip to help with the pain. They told me to go home and get some sleep (I hadn't slept since Monday night, and I'd gotten up Tuesday morning at 7 to take Husband to work). They said that the morphine would make it so that the pain was bearable and that if it got worse or the contractions got more intense to come back because that would mean I was in active labor.

We got home about 8 and Husband napped, but I just kind of dozed. It wasn't any sort of restful sleep at all because the contractions were too intense to sleep through. I woke up with every single one. The morphine took the edge off the pain for a while, but that didn't last loong. By about 11, I was ready to go back to the hospital.

And guess what? When we got there, at about 11:30, I was STILL ONLY DILATED TO A 1.5. I felt like cursing, which is something I never do. Ever. And don't worry, I resisted. I was just so exhausted from lack of sleep and I was getting nowhere. They told me they'd keep me for another hour and send me home again if I still hadn't changed. I cried. Because, suprise, after an hour I was still where I'd always been. Talk about discouraging.

But, the doctor that was on-call that day became my new best friend. He said that I could stay and to give me some pitocin to help jumpstart dilation. Seriously, he is my hero. I was only on the pitocin for a couple of hours, and that was enough.

At this point (about 1:00) I also asked for the epidural. I feel extremely pathetic for getting it at only 1.5 cm. But, I had been awake for almost 30 horus, more or less, and had been contracting pretty intensely for about 14 or 15 hours and was getting NOWHERE. And if it was going to keep taking forever, by the time I got to a 10 I would be too exhausted to breathe, let alone push, and they might have to do a c-section. So, epidural it was. I need to sleep.

Within an hour I was at 3 cm, and the doctor decided it would be best to break my water and do internal monitoring, because baby's heart rate was dropping with each contraction and they wanted to be able to watch that more closely. At times it would drop to 60 or so, but he always recovered really well and they never told me that they might have to do a c-section. I was able to sleep for most of the afternoon between cervix check and a couple of procedures they did to help baby with his heart rate because it looked like the cord was being compressed during contractions. (At one point they pumped some fluid back up into my uterus to help cushion the cord.) So the details are a little fuzzy.

Around dinnertime (maybe 6 or 7-ish) they checked my cervix and I was dilated to a 7. An hour later, I was almost (but not quite) at a 10. Hurrah!

But, since the doctor that was now on call (my friend from earlier had gone home) was at the other hospital in a neighboring town with several women who were about to deliver, they told me we wouldn't start pushing for a while and just let the contractions keep moving the baby down on their own. That was ok, I wanted to sleep some more. I could tell that I was complete because I wanted to push, but because of the epidural I didn't have to. This was also good because baby's heart rate was still dropping significantly with every contraction.

I was lucky enough that the epidural didn't completely remove all feeling from the lower half of my body. I could tell what was going on, though I didn't have pain and couldn't actually move on my own. This was all nice when it came time to push.

I didn't start pushing until about 9:30. And even then, because baby's heart rate kept dropping with every push, I didn't push on every contraction, only every second or third contraction. It ended up being a good thing I had gotten the epidural, because I didn't have to push every contraction and was able to give baby more time to recover his heart rate. And, if it turned out that they needed to do an emergency c-section, the anesthesia wouldn't have been an issue.

They ended up getting the first doctor (my friend) to come back for me and someone else because the other doctor was still at the other hospital.

Jeric was born at 11:05:59 pm on September 2. The cord was around his neck, between his legs, and around his body. No wonder it was getting compressed during labor and delivery! At first he was pale and haveing a bit of trouble breathing, so they took him to the NICU for a couple of hours and put him on the CPAP for his breathing. Husband went with him while I was getting fixed up. I got to hold Jeric for just a moment before they took him, and we dropped by the NICU on the way to my recovery room and I got to hold him again, but Husband didn't get to hold him until they brought him to my room when he was almost 4 hours old.

Originally, they told us that he weighed 6 lb. 13 oz. and was 21 inches long. The length was right, but he looked to me like he weighed more than that, and I was really surprised because we were expecting a much bigger baby! I was 8'5 and Husband was 9'9, and both of us had siblings who were big babies. I thought our baby would be around 8 lb. Turns out I was pretty close. The next day at his check-up in the nursery, he weighed 7'13 with just a diaper. Later they weighed him naked and he was 7'10.4, so they decided that he was actually 7'13 at birth and someone just read the scale wrong. I'm guessing that they were too concerned with his breathing and coloring to pay much attention to his weight, and I think I'm ok with that. :)

We didn't have his named picked out completely before he was born. We had a list of names that we liked, all of which were fairly traditional, and most of them were biblical. We also knew we wanted to go with a family name for his middle name. In the end, we picked the name that felt right.

So, there you have it. It's really long, I know...sorry. Any questions? I'm afraid it's disjointed and that I left stuff out or was confusing.

It's pretty late and my paper is finally done. I should get some sleep. Thankfully I can sleep in tomorrow -- my class isn't until 2 in the afternoon and Jeric takes a morning nap.

PS -- This post is over four pages long is Word. Whew.

I'm back! And there are pictures

Thanks to my sister-in-law MommyDew for putting up the post about Jeric's rather unexpectedly early arrival!

Yes, I know he was a day "late." But I was very surprised he came before the weekend. I wouldn't have been at all surprised if he was a week late -- or more!

For now, here are a few pictures. I plan on posting the birth story later for those who want to hear it. If you don't, I won't be offended if you skip that post :)

Until then, I hope you'll be satisfied with these. There are lots. I'm not posting a lot of them here -- the rest can be found on facebook. I'm also posting a few here that haven't made it to facebook yet.

The last belly picture. This was taken on my due date, just a few hours before I was surprised by the beginning of labor.

Just a minute old! He doesn't look very happy, does he?

The first time I got to hold him, for about 10 seconds before they took him to the NICU to help him start breathing better.

In the NICU. Husband got to follow him there, but for some reason wasn't able to hold him.

Husband finally got to hold Jeric for the first time after they brought him down from the NICU. Poor Daddy had to wait almost 4 hours!

Mommy and Jeric

With Daddy the next morning.

This is one of my favorite pictures. I love the expression on Jeric's face.

Chillin' in Mama's lap.

He has hair!

Jeric and Aunt Anna.

Jeric and Grandma.

Jeric and Great-great-grandma.

So relaxed.

Going home! He didn't like the carseat much when we first put him in it, but he fell asleep before we got to the car.

Our angry little frog. (I think he's glaring because of the bright lights.)

With his Granny.

Taking a nap.

Husband is pontificating on the virtues of the music of his favorite band...hilarious!

Jeric playing Madden 09 with Daddy.

Just finished eating and trying to burp. This is right before he peed out the top of his diaper and we had to change him into his third outfit for the day...and it was only 10am.

Mad at Daddy for waking him up.

Song

I wrote a little song this morning. Want to hear it? (Well, not hear, but you know what I mean.)


Happy due date to me,
Happy due date to me,
Happy due date, dear me and baby,
Happy due date to me.

I'll be back later with a picture and an update.

Now what?

This was my to-do list:

1. Clean house
2. Finish laundry
3. Pack hospital bag
4. Set up and organize baby stuff.



This is what my to-do list looks like now:

1. Scrub the fridge if you decide you feel like it.



Otherwise, I have nothing to do.

And I have a LOT of energy. I've felt pretty icky for the last couple of weeks, but I've been feeling great since Saturday. (Yeah, the to-do list was completed nearly in its entirety on Saturday. All I've had to do since is a few dishes and the kitchen floor.)

So, now what? I've probably still got a while before this child comes...

Today

I really feel like going for a walk today. Is there anybody who lives around here that wants to go with me?

(I would make Husband go, but he's at work. Poor boy.)

Stuff

Yesterday I was told that I look like I could still have another two months to go before this baby gets here. I was asked if I've gained more than 10 pounds. Umm, yes. About 13 pounds more than 10. And on Monday at the doctor the nurse told me that I couldn't possibly be 38 weeks. Ugh.

Is it weird that comments like this kind of bug me? I assure you that I have carried this baby for the full 38 weeks (and 3 days). (Well, minus two weeks, really, when you take into consideration that they count from your last period and the baby isn't actually conceived until about two weeks later. BUT STILL.) And while people may not think so, I have felt every single day.

Had some false labor yesterday, so that was fun. Consistent contractions for hours while I was doing stuff, but when I got off my feet they slowed down. Pain/discomfort in my lower back and abdomen. The contractions never entirely went away, but there was no pattern as long as I wasn't on my feet being busy. I was pretty sure it was false labor (and I was right :) ) but I was inspired to finally at least start packing my hospital bag. Kind of left that to the last minute, eh?

I have made some progression towards labor, though. At my last appointment, I was 1cm dilated and 70% effaced and the baby is at -2 station. These numbers are all better than the numbers I was given a week before. Woo hoo! I take comfort in the fact that this means that I will likely go into labor on my own and not have to be induced. Which I would absolutely prefer. I still think he's going to come late, and my doctor agrees. And he has years and years and years of experience, so I'm sure he's recognized some patterns by now :)

In other news, tonight my cousin Jason comes home from his two-year Church mission in the Baltics (Latvia, Lithuania, and Estonia -- he spent most of his time in Latvia, with a few months in Lithuania towards the end). My grandma and I are driving up to the airport together to help his parents and siblings greet him. Husband would come too, but he won't be off of work in time. It should be a fun adventure. Grandma says to put the baby under orders to NOT come today. I told her I'd see what I can do.

Thanks for all your help with my freezer meals knowledge. I got several nice long emails and lots of recipes and suggestions. You all rock!

That's all for now, I think.

Hello from the biggest blogging slacker ever

Yeah.

Sorry.

To make up for it (not really), here is a picture I took last night and one I took last week.

Last week. 36 weeks.

Last night. 37 weeks. Or at least I'll be 37 weeks tomorrow, so close enough.

And to further show my remorse, here is a picture that has my [fat] face in it. Ugh. It took me 7 or 8 tries to make it look like this, all the others were absolutely terrible. So don't tell me my face isn't fat (I mean it). I'm not fishing for compliments, just telling the truth.

Also, I think I could really use some color on my lips. But give me a break, it was midnight. (Couldn't sleep. Hard to get comfortable, you know how it goes.)

So anyways, due date is 3 weeks from tomorrow, which means that I'm full term (or will be tomorrow, but like I say, close enough). I have a doctor appointment this afternoon, and hopefully they will tell me that I have some sort of progression that indicates that labor may, in fact, someday maybe start on its own. A girl (especially one with my family history) can hope.

A couple of my good friends have had their babies in the last couple of weeks, so that's been fun. Last night I was holding one of their babies, and I discovered that a large pregnant belly is very convenient on which to prop a baby. (I started to say "to prop a baby up on" but that just sounded awkward.) I don't think my little boy liked it too much, because he was definitely pushing up at her, like, what-is-this-heavy-thing-in-my-space-and-move-it-now-please.

I just realized that I sound pretty ridiculous this morning, for which I apologize. I didn't get much sleep last night.

So I've been meaning to get online and blog for a long time, and I've even had entire posts drafted in my head, but somehow every time I get on the computer I lack either the motivation to sit and type it up or I just forget. Yeah. Lame excuses.

So anyways, I'll try to make posting more regular. I know there's a lot of stuff I should write about, but I'm having difficulty remembering it at the moment. So, umm, here's to consistency! Or at least a little more of it.

*I didn't feel like linking this post to all the other posts with belly pictures, but if you want to see them scroll to the post right before this. It has all the links.

Lots of stuff to tell you about

So here I go.

Several times over the past two weeks I've sat down at my computer intending to write some updates, but somehow ended up feeling overwhelmed and never got very far. But since today marks 30 weeks and that means that my parents will be wanting to see another belly picture, I figure that I need to bite the bullet and get it over with.

So, 30 weeks:


PLUS a bonus shot that includes my face and the belly. Although I do think I look funny.


And here are the customary links to older belly pictures:
18, 20, 22, 24/25, 26, 28

I'm getting to the point where I can be pretty uncomfortable at times, and little man is all up in my ribs with increasing frequency, but really I still feel pretty good. It's hard to believe that there are only 2 months left until we get to meet him!

Funny story: At my last doctor appointment, I was told that I am measuring just a little bit small for how far along I am (not quite a week small) and that that means that maybe I'll have a baby that's a little below average size. [Excuse me while I catch my breath from the hysterical laughter that has suddenly consumed me.] YEAH RIGHT. This doctor obviously has never met my family, or Steven's. Both of our families tend to have really big babies -- all but a couple over 8 pounds and several closer to 10. Even when the mama doesn't look very big, the baby is. I told my mom and she laughed hysterically as well. She says nobody expected to open her up (she had all c-sections) and see babies as big as the ones she had...especially Robert, who was 9 lbs. 8 oz. at a week early. So while everyone is different, there is a very good chance that this baby will be at least 8 lbs.

Oh, and we finally went and registered at Babies R Us a couple of weeks ago. You can search for the registry here if you feel so inclined. (I'm only mentioning this because several people have asked.)
Husband was really excited that we got to park in the "Stork Parking" --I laughed.



Let's see...what else?



Spring term is over. Hurrah. Still waiting for grades to be released, but I think I did fairly well. Could have done better, probably, but I doubt I got anything below a B or B+. I'm excited to have some time with no school. I'm planning to use it to get my house ready for baby. Only 10 or so weeks to go, and we have almost nothing. We have some clothes, a baby swing (some friends who were moving and getting rid of everything gave it to us), and a crib to borrow...not much else. Sounds fun, eh? It'll get done...eventually. I have 10 weeks...



The temple is currently closed for maintenance until 6 July. (It closes for 2 weeks every 6 months.) When it reopens, I won't be working there anymore. This past Friday was my last day. The decision to stop working was a very difficult one to make, but I had gotten to the point where my body just wasn't going to let me work any longer. Walking away was very hard, but it needed to be done. I'm going to miss it. I'm grateful for the time that I had serving there over the last 10 months. I have grown so much and matured so much through my service. I have met so many wonderful people and have grown to love them. I'm grateful for the things that I have learned about the temple and our Heavenly Father, which will help me tremendously in my life, especially as a young mother. I look forward to the day -- probably many years from now -- when I will be able to go back and serve in the temple again. Of course I will attend the temple as often as I can between now and then, but I definitely plan on working there again someday when my children are all grown up (the youngest has to be 18 or graduated from high school). I love the temple and the blessings found there.

Two Fridays ago when I made the decision that the next week would be my last, I was extremely upset. I had known that eventually I would not be able to work anymore, but I was hopeful that I still had several weeks left. The realization that I didn't hit me all at once, and I went immediately to tell my coordinator (I knew if I didn't tell her then, I wouldn't). We cried together (I'm blaming hormones), and then I spent the rest of the morning trying to remain calm enough to do my work. When my shift was over, I called Husband and told him that I needed to know where he was working right then because I needed to come get a hug. That helped a lot! I went home and spent several hours outside on the quad in front of our building because I knew I needed to be distracted or I'd go inside and cry some more. A couple of hours later, a vase of roses was delivered to me. All the note said was "Love you" -- not signed or anything, but of course it came from Steven. I cried again. It was so sweet of him to do that for me. He'll want me to mention that he'd been thinking about doing it for no reason, and then when I was all upset he decided to do it right then. Very sweet of him.



I think I only have one other thing to talk about today... I'd be impressed if anybody has read this far. I've written quite the novel!

Remember my good friend Ruth? I've talked about her several times, including in these posts:
the time we pulled a prank on Husband,
the time she came over for Husband's birthday,
the time she dropped by on her way to work and we talked for way too long,
the time we spent New Year's Eve with her and the later she and I took a trip to Walmart and Jamba Juice because I wanted a smoothie,
and the time it was my birthday.

Anyways, now poor Ruth has the swine flu. She says it's just like the normal flu, but she's secluded herself for the past several days (since Friday, when she started feeling sick). I talked to her Sunday night, and she hadn't seen anybody except the doctor since Friday. She works at a group home for troubled teens, where the flue has been going around, and she was taking care of the sick ones, so of course she got it. She says it's contagious for about 7 days, so she's keeping herself away from others until at least this Friday, just to be on the safe side. The poor thing, she's about to go crazy from boredom and loneliness, and then her internet decided to not work so she doesn't even have that distraction! I know there's nothing I can do, but I wish there was, and I hope she'll get over it soon!



And I think that's about it for now. I can't think of anything else that I've been meaning to write about...