Miracle, Part 2: Emergency

On March 12, 2013, our then-13-month-old daughter, who is called Rosebud on the blog, was injured in an accident in our home. This is Part 2 of the series in which I relate the story of the injury, our subsequent 4-week hospital stay, and the ongoing recovery process. This story is very difficult to write and relive. If you choose to comment, please be kind. I promise you that there is no judgment or condemnation or blame that you can place on me that I haven't already placed on myself. The index to the whole series can be found by clicking this link.

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March 12, 2013

8:08 pm

I have talked to Husband. I put on some shoes and grab my diaper bag, turn on the porch light, and open the door. I put Rosebud on the floor by the couch. I am still helping her breathe. She is still not responsive. I am so worried. I am still crying, still praying aloud.

I call my mom, and yell at her to just pray. My sister is with her; she calls my dad. They are all praying. My mom tries to keep me calm. I am still breathing with Rosebud.

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8:11 pm

Husband is home. He takes one look at Rosebud and says get in the car and call 911, we are going to meet the ambulance. I hang up the phone with my mom, I call 911. I am still breathing with Rosebud. We get to the foot of our road (about a mile down the mountain). I see emergency lights rounding the corner of the road ahead. I say to the operator, "This is us. I repeat this is us, tell the first responder to stop. I see the lights."

I hand my baby, my precious girl, to the first responder, who initiates oxygen support. The ambulance arrives moments later.

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8:20 pm

They are still trying to stabilize her. I am more calm. Husband is with Jeric, but I am in the ambulance. She is responding to my voice.

She is responding.

Her breaths are too fast, too shallow, too weak. She is only looking off to her left, and her neck seems stiff in that direction. But when I go to her right side and speak, she turns her head to look at me.

She recognizes me. Save my baby, Father in Heaven, please save my baby. I know the situation is still dire. I know I might still lose her.

I never stop praying.

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8:30 pm

I am in the ambulance. We are driving, I believe, to a hospital over an hour away that is equipped to deal with my daughter's condition. Husband takes my phone and Jeric, and they will follow after returning Husband's work keys. Everything is surreal.

This can't be happening.

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8:40 pm

We are in route. The EMTs decide to call a helicopter, instead. I can't go with her. I must wait at the local hospital for a ride.

I can't get in touch with Husband. My phone's battery died as soon as I gave it to him, so though I call him over and over, he never answers. He doesn't know to pick me up.

Rosebud is in shock. I think I am too. She is breathing well enough with just an oxygen mask, though she is still gasping, and she is somewhat responsive, but her sugar is way too high, she is way too cold, way too pale, and she is still looking off to the left side.

I spend the ride talking to her. I sing to her (I Am A Child of God, her favorite song since birth). I pray constantly, whispering the words.

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9:00 pm

We are waiting for the helicopter. We wait so long I wonder why they didn't just drive, we probably could have gotten there more quickly. A kind EMT calls the on-call chaplain, who arrives just as they are loading my baby onto the helicopter.

I still can't get Husband to answer the phone. I don't realize it is dead.

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9:20 pm

I scream as they take her away. I don't want my baby out of my sight.

Part of me doesn't expect to see her alive again.

I miss her smile, her laugh, her vibrant personality.

The chaplain helps, as much as he can. Heavenly Father, bless all the chaplains.

We go inside the emergency room and find a quiet corner where I talk. I talk and talk and cry and cry and pray. The chaplain prays with me. I call my mom again, I tell her what I know. One of the kind EMTs takes the initiative to get a phone number to the supervisors at Husband's work. One of them tells me that Husband has already gone, and it has been long enough that I know he didn't get my message, he is on his way to the bigger hospital. One of the other supervisors volunteers to give me a ride. The Spirit tells me it is okay to trust him.

The chaplain stays with me until it is time for me to leave.

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9:38pm

This is the arrival time listed on Rosebud's hospital records.

The next day, one of the emergency room nurses tells me he had to leave the room to cry because he was so worried about this baby. She is in very, very serious condition.